by Jonathan Leistiko
Be the first stick figure to reach the finish line at the end of your turn.
A copy of the Stick Figure Abuse board and a deck of 50 Stick Figure Abuse cards
(Note: You can substitute a deck of M:tG land cards composed of 10 cards of each basic type if you don’t want to cut out the cards.).
A pawn for each player.
Some pennies (about 20 or so).
Put the board in the middle of the table. Put your pawn anywhere in the area marked “Start Here”.
Shuffle the deck. Subtract the number of players in the game from seven. This number (or three, whichever is greater) is the number of cards in a hand for the game. Each player gets this many cards. You may look at your cards, but keep them concealed from the other players. Set the deck aside in easy reach.
The player with the nastiest scar goes first. Resolve ties with a die roll. Play passes clockwise.
Play takes place in turns.
When it’s your turn, you are the victim. Put the nickel in your current space. On your turn you may move your piece as many spaces as you want to. You may not pass through squares occupied by other players. Put a face-up penny in each square as you pass through it.
When you’re not the victim, wait until the victim is done moving and has placed all of his or her tokens. When the victim is done, you may play cards from your hand that match the icon in a space with a face-up penny. When you play a card, flip the penny in the matching space so it is tails-up. There is no play order in this part of the turn, so it’s first-come, first-served.
If you’re the victim, wait until all of the other players are done playing cards on you. When they’re done, remove each penny you laid, starting with the first coin you laid, and ending with the last coin you laid. Before you can pick up a tails-up penny, you must play a card that matches the icon in that penny’s space.
If you can not pick up a penny, that space’s mishap killed you. Put a quarter (as in “drawn and…”) in that space as a tombstone. Move your piece back to your nickel and remove the nickel from the board. Every player who played a card against you that turn may move one space forward.
If you pick up all the pennies, remove the nickel from the board and give yourself a pat on the back. Discard your cards and draw a new hand of cards.
As soon as you run out of cards ,draw a new hand of cards. You may not play any more cards until a new turn begins.
At the end of your turn, play passes to the left.
If you end your turn in the “End Here” space, you win the game.
9/26/2002: I came up with this game idea yesterday on our way to do some indoor rock climbing. The truck in front of us had the niftiest pictures of stick figure mutilation through accidental damage. Somehow, these pictures sparked this game idea. I mocked up the game board that night
6/7/2009: I felt really bad that I didn’t put up a game last month, so I pulled this one up out of my slush files, reworked the rules a little bit, made a better board and a custom deck of cards, made the banner and thumbnail, and here it is! It hasn’t been play tested yet, so your mileage may vary. Nonetheless, I suspect it’ll work all right as a quick cut-throat diversion.